Unbelievable as it may sound I am still going to my suburban renegade Crossfit gym in the wee hours of the morning.
People it has been a little over 5 months. I think that deserves a little recognition.
Five months of leaving my house at 4:50 two or three mornings a week. Ugh. Do you know at one point in my life I had sworn that I would never set my alarm clock to a time before 5 am because that just seemed cruel and inhumane? And I was right it is cruel and inhumane, but I am doing it. I am also still cheerfully getting TweenStar up at 7:15 every Saturday morning to join me for an 8:00 session. I know she will appreciate it someday.
I have not stepped on a scale in over 4 months. It just started to seem counterproductive. The number on the scale could be depressing even though logically I knew I was getting fitter and stronger every day. It is definitely liberating to be scale free.
A few other things that I have discovered/learned/observed over the past 5 months...
I do not like to socialize when I work out. I don't mind before the work out and certainly not after the work out, but during the work out...ummmm not so much. I am in the zone, focused on the task, and frankly am investing every little bit of energy I have in completing the set. Small talk is not an option. I know some people enjoy the camaraderie during the workout and I like the idea of the camaraderie during the work out just not the actual work that goes in to it. I definitely fall into my natural introverted tendencies during my work outs.
More often than not the sentences of myself and my fellow crossfitters pre-work out (as we stare at the dry erase board that maps out our work out that day) start with the phrase "at least".
At least we are not doing burpees today.
At least we don't have to run between sets.
At least it's only 50 and not 100.
At least it's not really hot and humid (or freezing cold).
At least it's not one of those crazy work outs where we can't even grab a sip of water between sets. ( I hate those workouts)
At least I am not the only crazy one here in the pre dawn hour.
For some people music makes the work out. Their playlist is crucial to hitting their workout rhythm. Me, I don't even notice it. Seriously I don't even notice the music. I am so in my own head. I am constantly thinking. Definitely not talking. Just thinking.
Thinking things like...
I hate burpees. I hate burpees. I hate burpees. (I can actually get into a nice rhythm as I repeat it over and over with each burpee, kind of gets my mind off the physical pain.)
Sometimes I try to bargain with myself...
45 is really close to 50. I could totally stop now and feel really good about myself. Not a lot of people are doing 45 burpees at 5:00 am. 46. 47. How about now? I could totally stop now. (And then inevitably right at that moment my fitness guru will call out my name and commend my "great work".) And then I am all like...48, 49, 50. Ugh.
Sometimes I compare myself to the other athletes there that morning (I don't recommend this one. So not helpful.)...
How is she all done? Is she really going that much faster than me? Am I really going that slow? How is she lifting that much weight? Am I not working hard enough?
And sometimes it's just pity...
I can't believe I get up at 4:45 to do this? I could have slept for like 3 more hours.
Occasionally I will create elaborate stories in my head, especially when I am doing one activity over and over again. You know like when the morning work out has me doing 100 push-ups or running between each set (I really hate running between each set, it totally throws off my rhythm.)
Like the story in my head last week when I swear we had to run 600 miles and we were working out for like 4 hours. In reality it was probably like a mile and a half and about an hour, but perception is so much more important than reality. And I really felt like I was being tortured.
As I was
being tortured working out I started thinking about all those stories about different governments who torture spies and such. And then I started theorizing about this whole renegade Crossfit gym I am a part of. Maybe our tireless crossfit trainer is actually an operative for like the FBI or CIA or something. You know doing some sort of top secret work for the government, I haven't really worked out all the details yet. And maybe this whole thing is a social experiment hatched by the government to see how much middle class mothers and fathers in the 30 - 50 year old age bracket can handle. You know how much physical duress we will actually withstand and then willingly come back and do it again. And again. And again. And recruit others to do it. It's mind blowing.
Or maybe the government knows something that we don't know and our small town has been targeted by THE ENEMY and my Crossfit trainer is actually a high ranking military guy who is training us as some sort of grassroots militia for when we are attacked.
Creating elaborate stories in my head at 5:00 am as I run, do push-ups, run, do sit-ups, run, do push presses, and run, run, run.
Not weird. Right? I am sure that a lot of people think about the FBI and the Apocalypse as they work out. Okay maybe a little weird.
So crossfit continues to be a big part of my weekly routine. And in fact it is the only thing that has successfully gotten me out of bed before 5am. I am happy with my progress, but really want to see more. I feel like I am kind of plateauing a little. Blah.
My hope is to fit in at least two days of running between my four Crossfit days. If I am being honest I have been talking about fitting in some running time for at least 4 weeks now and haven't even made it out on one run. But I am still hopeful that it will happen. I would like to challenge myself a little more. You know just in case we really are training for the Apocalypse.
What are doing lately for exercise? Training for the Apocalypse?