A couple of weeks ago I was telling some co-workers about my obsession with SongPop. I was explaining how I was A. Mah. Zing (no lie) in some categories, but there were other categories where I was just a total fail. One of the most frustrating categories for me is music from the 1990's. My co-workers were surprised about my lack of amazingness with 90's music, surprised because well I was alive in the 90's so based on this young person's (this person is approximately 15 years younger than me) logic it should be any easy category.
Since I didn't really know off the top of my head why I couldn't identify 90's music in under 1.5 seconds I gave the generic answer that I had been busy in the 90's. And was rewarded for that not entirely well thought out answer with skepticism.
So I started justifying how busy I had been.
I graduated high school
I went to college (and in college we didn't listen to regular music we were way too hip for that. I was busy listening to bootleg Dave Matthews Band. On a cassette tape.)
I graduated college
I went to graduate school
I got married
I started my first real job
I bought my first house
I had a baby
Boom.
Totally justified. I HAD been busy.
And my much younger co-worker walked away impressed with all that I packed into that decade. Or so I imagined. In reality I think she just lost interest after "I went to graduate school".
On my ride home that day I got very reflective thinking of all I had accomplished in the 90's and reflecting on how focused and devoted to mothering I was in the first decade of 2000 (turning 40 tends to make you even more reflective than you normally are which could in fact drive you insane if you already are a reflective person and if you happen to spend a lot of time in the car like me). I spent my 30's completely and totally immersed in the essence of mothering. Mothering is what I ate, breathed, and slept as I birthed, taught, potty trained, and eventually set free to the public schools three incredible children.
So to summarize my twenties were all about growing up and evolving into me and my thirties were all about mothering my babies into incredible kids.
Not bad.
A pretty good 20 years.
Which leads me to where I am now - on the very cusp of turning 40.
Everyone keeps on telling me
You'll love your 40's
40 is great
40 is the new 30
40 and fabulous
40's are AWESOME
Right.
But what am I supposed to be DOING in my 40's?
What am I supposed to do to make the next ten years full of greatness and fabulousness and awesomeness?
I mean I will still be mothering. It's just not such a complete immersion now. And incredibly enough during the next decade all three of my children will get their driver's licenses and two will graduate high school. I know. Holy Cow.
And I will still be doing the wife thing because my husband crazily enough continues to profess his undying love after 14 years of marriage.
And I do still have to make money. See two children graduating high school and going to college. So there is the J.O.B
So is that it. Is that what the 40's are about? Just keeping on keeping on.
That doesn't seem so fabulous. Or awesome.
Don't get me wrong I am definitely a cup half full kind of girl and I have no overwhelming anxiety about turning the big 40. But I am just wondering what I am missing.
Is there some magical secret of the 40's that will be bestowed on me when I blow out those candles or are the Fabulous 40's just a myth?
Because from where I am standing my 40's seem like they are just going to be
meh.
Linking up with Shell to Pour My Heart Out.
10 comments:
Nope, they're gonna be great. I'm sure of it because YOU are great!
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I've heard that 40s are supposed to be amazing too! Right now I'm in the 30s... fully immersed in babies, mothering, potty training, omgwhywon'tyoustopcrying stage.
But oh the 40s!
I've heard that's when you get to start a new hobby, or find furniture that your children won't break. You get to go on dates with your husband again and you get to wear clothing that doesn't have snot on it.
This is all so exciting
I think your first step should be signing up for that half marathon...!
Maybe they can be amazing because they aren't full of the frantic must get through college, must get a baby to sleep and potty train... and all that crazy to-dos.
The 40s are about doing whatever you want. It is about learning and knowing what is important to YOU and going after it.
Ha! It's a valid point. And something for me to think about while I am spending time in the car. Maybe bucket list?
LisaDay
I get this, even though I still have a few years, but I get it. My 20's were similar except I threw in 2 babies and a divorce.Thus far, my 30's have been about rebuilding, surviving and mothering. Now, well, we'll just have to see how the next few years prepare me for my 40's. Have I mentioned I totally stink at being patient?
I'm 43 and I honestly have always looked forward to my 40's. But..my 40's started out crappy. First thing, my hair started getting thin. Well, that sucks, I thought. Must be my age. Next, it became almost impossible to lose weight. Well, at least, it had never been hard for me to lose a few pounds before. But once I hit 40? I guess I was expected to actually exercise and eat right in order to lose weight? How unfair! I had never had to do that before. Next, I got pregnant (which is pretty much the norm for me, as I had my 9th baby at age 39) so when I got pregnant at age 41 I thought, Yep...this is about right. I'm due for another. But guess what? I had my very first miscarriage. I blamed old eggs and silently cursed the 40's. Then 4 other conceptions/miscarriages followed, all within two years. I was ready to just hang up the old uterus and call it an era... when I became pregnant yet again and this one stuck! Must have hit a healthy egg - surprise! So now I'm 43 and 6 months pregnant with a healthy little boy. And guess what? I LOVE MY 40's!! Love it, love it, love'n it!! But...my hair is still thin. Ah well, something's gotta give, right? LOL
Okay, I am 42 and so far meh. I mean I keep hearing how people in their 40's feel comfortable in their own skin and how they come into their own and maybe it's at 45 because so far, it's exactly like you said, just keeping busy moving along.
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